Fish in the Sea, Unicorns in the Sky: Threesomes Are More Common Than You Think

My first threesome wasn’t a disaster, but it definitely wan’t a success.  One night, my partner and I decided we wanted to have a threesome, and that same night, we had one. After just 30 minutes of scuffing our shoes on the beer soaked floors of a frat party, our friend miraculously introduced us to the person we would somehow end up heading home with. Things started getting awkward when I stepped on her shoe, broke it, over-apologized, and offered to carry her home.

When we arrived to our dorm room, we struggled to fit everyone on the twin sized bed. Some bad kissing soon revealed that none of us had any sexual chemistry. Navigating how to tangle three bodies for the first time was fairly difficult when our new friend kept shrugging her shoulders upon being asked what she liked. An hour or so of awkward kissing and touching later, we called it quits. To end with a flourish, my partner and I almost got in a fight with some dudebros catcalling us while walking her home.

Overall, I’d give it a meager 3/10.

Since then, my partner has admitted to me that he wasn’t ready for that threesome. We hadn’t discussed it enough, we had only known this person for half an hour, and he was too anxious to speak up that he just wasn’t feeling it. We shouldn’t have had it, but here’s why we did.

Sure, this happened partially out of my baby gay self’s over-excitement for a pussy in my face, I’ll claim that. But it also happened because we thought that this might be our only chance. We were under the impression that threesomes are a rarity and one of those events that starts with “one time….” and ends in gasps and “No way!”s. We thought we needed to seize this opportunity because it might never happen again, so we rushed it.

Since then,  I’ve lost track of how many threesomes we’ve had.

Just two years later, we’ve met all sorts of lovely people interested in threesoming with us. we’ve gone on three-person dates that didn’t work out, gone on multiple dates before hopping into bed, and turned down folks that we didn’t mesh well with.

Our monogamous culture tells us that a threesome or any other type of group sex is a sort of  “this one wild time” story, often told as a sort of tale of sexy achievement to display how sexual this person is and how lucky they got, when really group sex can also be a completely normal part of someone’s sex life.

Unicorns, or people of any gender who like to have threesomes with couples, are so called because they can be rare (and also magical, I mean just look at the lovely Red Hot Suz). However, rare doesn’t mean non existent. Perhaps our own luck with frequency has been due to where we live, a multi-college town, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t super sweet couples and unicorns in your own area that could make great threesome buddies. Find them in person, at kink events, on tinder, on fetlife, or a specific sex-centered website like sexwithnostrings.com/meet-for-sex. There are plenty of fish in the sea and plenty of unicorns in the sky.

I mean, the same logic could be applied to any sort of sexual act, not just group sex. There will always be more people to bang, and more chances for cool sex things to happen. You don’t need to rush into it just because you don’t think it will ever happen again. Even if you do want that “one wild time” story, you can wait to find the right person place or situation for it. The world is filled with beautiful, kinky, sexy human beings that want to do beautiful kinky sexy things.

So to all y’all couples looking for a threesome buddy, and all y’all solo babes looking for a couple, heck, anyone looking for anything: your first chance will not be your only chance, and you don’t have to take it. Take your time. Let yourself be picky about whom you share your bed with. You’re worth way more than a “one wild time” that ends in anxiety, broken shoes, and a jerk’s catcalls. Trust me.

Thank you sexwithnostrings.com for sponsoring this post!

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