Category: Butt Stuff

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If I were speaking with you in person, I would begin this review by skipping up to you in a glittery homemade duct-tape strap-on harness, unicorn-horn shaped dick bouncing up and down in it’s gleaming holster, brandishing the Split Peaches Rivetor as a wand, and probably wearing those dollar-store fairy wings on my back. Unfortunately, this picture below will have to suffice.

Butt Stuff Dildos Reviews

Butt Stuff Reviews

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Usually my first impression of a toy gives me a pretty good idea about whether I’m going to like it or not. This time however, my first impression was dead wrong. I initially wasn’t thrilled about the Funkit Toys Cashew Nib, but after a few tries, I fell in love. This is an amazing toy from an amazing company.

Butt Stuff Reviews

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In high school, I was the only one on my basketball team who failed to score all season. I played three soccer games in a row where I got hit in the face every single time. When I tried hockey, other people got awards like “Fastest Skater” or “Best Backwards”. I got “Smallest Head”. Sports and I were never compatible. That is, until now. Luckily, you don’t have to be athletic to enjoy the Tantus Sport

Butt Stuff Dildos

20160507_175958The Rocket was my 1.5th butt plug. I say 1.5th because technically the Fun Factory Bootie was my very first plug, but I tragically lost it after only two uses. I still have no idea where it managed to go. I looked everywhere, but I suspect it must have fallen out of my shower caddy on its way from being cleaned. Apologies to the poor soul who found my butt plug in a communal dorm bathroom. Oops. 

Butt Stuff

Tantus Ryder

First let me share a bit of personal glory by saying that I was able to insert the Ryder from a cold start on the very first try. It’s a medium sized toy, measuring 3 (insertable) inches lengthwise with a width of 1.5 inches, and although it isn’t the largest thing I’ve put in my butt, it’s the largest thing I’ve put in my butt without a warm-up.

Butt Stuff