Category: Writing

One of the latest sex toy crazes sweeping the planet right now is air pulsation based vibrators. I mean, Jesus Christ ever since the Womanizer came out everyone and their uncle has been cranking these puppies out like nobody’s business. Womanizer, Satisfyer, Lelo, white-label. Everyone’s gotta produce a version of this latest clit-focused sucky thingy. Heck, since my receiving of these products, Satisfyer has already released updated versions of all it’s toys. And for good reason, too, I suppose. I really like these things. The Satisfyers I received: The Satisfyer Pro 2, and Pro 2 next generation, and Satisfyer 2 and Pro Penguin (both of which have now received an update), all feel great. They’re effective, fun, and, compared to other models out there, they’re pretty affordable. Also, you can put a penis extender on the end of one of them for some cool gender-feelz. Overall, these things are pretty neat.

#GSpotJournal Reviews Vibrators

I am terrible at holidays. Every year, the day of Halloween, my partner and I find ourselves planning our costumes about two hours before we’re supposed to be wherever we’re supposed to be. Every October 31st, we swear that next year will be the one where we plan our adorable couple-coordinated outfits months in advance. We’ll be so prepared. Just you wait.

Yet every year, we find ourselves at the thrift store at 6 pm wondering why we waited until the last minute again.

If you’re anything like me and in a last minute panic for a thrown-together sex-positive costume, I’ve got you covered. As per usual, I thought of these last year about two days after Halloween, and I’ve been holding onto it ever since (I’m a Capricorn). These little treasures will take all of ten minutes to throw together, and you probably already have everything needed.

DIY Writing

I do not like hard toys in my clam, I do not like them, Sam I Am.

I’m a sensitive peanut. To temperature, tastes, scents, emotions, other people’s emotions, movies, words. I’m a soft little fuzzy bruise-able peach. I learned a while ago that my vulva was sensitive to lubes, getting itchy every time we’d do PIV (thank you Sliquid and unlubed condoms for remedying this). What I didn’t realize until now is that my vagina itself is a sensitive soul, a soul that craves the cushy caress of sweet soft silicone, and cringes at the thought of metal or wood, or jeez even harder silicone. I’m refraining from making “my vagina is a pussy” joke because using “pussy” in that way is nearly always misogynistic, but man is my vagina a soft and gentle creature.

So here’s the truth, folks, I started this VaJournal segment (formally known as #GSpotJournal), because I, Sammi, a sex blogger, hate the Pure Wand.

#GSpotJournal Dildos Reviews

My first threesome wasn’t a disaster, but it definitely wan’t a success.  One night, my partner and I decided we wanted to have a threesome, and that same night, we had one. After just 30 minutes of scuffing our shoes on the beer soaked floors of a frat party, our friend miraculously introduced us to the person we would somehow end up heading home with. Things started getting awkward when I stepped on her shoe, broke it, over-apologized, and offered to carry her home.

Other Personal Writing

Me five years ago would never have imagined that sometime in my life I would pull up to a campground after a six hour drive with a person I had only met once before, scuttle through the pouring rain, and be lectured on how the little bottle that was being presented to me was NOT lube, but hand sanitizer and please do not put it on your genitals, but hey, there I was.

This campground was Abrams Creek Resort and Campground in West Virginia, and the event itself was Sex Geek Summer Camp, a five day retreat for sex educators and professionals to learn business skills. Rose of Hedonish.com is the wonderful human without whom I couldn’t have made it through the week, and Cathy Vartuli is the caring soul so concerned about not accidentally sanitizing one’s genitals.

Personal Writing

So you’ve decided you want to have a threesome. You’ve talked with your partner about boundaries, safer sex protocols, wants, and needs. Now you’re staring at your screen trying to figure out how to craft the perfect dating site profile for a couple in search of a fabled unicorn. Perhaps you’ve already been clicking around OkCupid, swiping on Tinder, or perusing My Sex Hookups. Maybe you are the fabled unicorn and you’re sick and tired of rolling your eyes at these less-than-polite couples.

Guides Writing

Fuck leg hair.

Fuck shaved legs.

Fuck painstakingly running to Walmart for batteries, running all over the house to find the length guide, and running your re-purposed pube trimmer all over your stupid shins in the hopes that somewhere in-between shaved and shaggy you’ll finally be happy with the length of your leg lawn.

I’ve spent the past week fussing and stressing over how to groom these two bottom limbs of mine, and the past hour practically crying over them. The only conclusion I’ve come to is that I want to crawl out of my skin, explode, or chop my legs off.

Personal Writing

fulldoxydon

Hi hey hello there. I’ve got a few recommendations for you.

  1. Put this in your butt.
  2. Put this on your clit.
  3. Put this in your vag.
  4. Put this wherever the damn hell you please.

Other

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When Vibrant gave me the option to review the Minna KGoal, I almost said no. I was (and still am) in the midst of final exams and papers and projects, and I thought I’d hate the toy anyway, especially after my experiences with other kegel exercisers. But after all, I love shirking responsibilities, my pelvic floor needs some work, and I love Vibrant as a company. They carry only body safe products, use gender-neutral language, and donate a portion of proceeds to planned parenthood. They’ve also sent bloggers T-shirts to welcome them to their affiliate program, so basically they’re doing everything right. I’m so happy they reached out to me about reviewing the KGoal, because I love it, and I love them, and I love loving stuff.

Other

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I have a confession to make. I am a sex blogger who isn’t well-acquainted with her G-spot. I don’t know where exactly it is, or what it likes, or even how best to find it. I have no idea what type of dildo will feel best or at what angle or what motion or what amount of pressure. I am a total G-spot n00b.

#GSpotJournal Writing