Category: Writing

I have friends who do all sorts of things for their jobs. One such babe plays with and inspects dirt for a living. One bakes for an entire student body. A few are teachers, a few are business bitches, and some sell nudes and perform cam shows and have sex. Yup, I have friends who are sex workers, and you might too.

Guides Writing

These past few weeks I got to play with a Sybian. I had chattered about it to my friends for months, thrilled to use this famous toy. I invited my friends to try it, and fantasized about the ways I could use it: positions, rope, threesome configurations. I had great ideas for the accompanying posts (one of which involved morphsuits and acro yoga), and overall big dreams for this little machine. However, after all the fanciful plans and aspirations, I only got to use it a handful of times.

Life kicks you in the butt sometimes, doesn’t it? In your head I’m probably just some rando internet character who only exists in sexy cyberspace, but I assure you, my friend, I am a real live human being with a real-live life. I am currently teetering on the edge of an undergraduate degree and Finding A Job. I am in the midst of final exams I have no motivation for, with no idea what I will be doing or where I will be come May. Every morning it gets a little harder to get my ass out of bed and move sluggishly through my molasses-saturated world.

Also, if you couldn’t tell from that last sentence, I’m depressed.

Personal Writing

One of the latest sex toy crazes sweeping the planet right now is air pulsation based vibrators. I mean, Jesus Christ ever since the Womanizer came out everyone and their uncle has been cranking these puppies out like nobody’s business. Womanizer, Satisfyer, Lelo, white-label. Everyone’s gotta produce a version of this latest clit-focused sucky thingy. Heck, since my receiving of these products, Satisfyer has already released updated versions of all it’s toys. And for good reason, too, I suppose. I really like these things. The Satisfyers I received: The Satisfyer Pro 2, and Pro 2 next generation, and Satisfyer 2 and Pro Penguin (both of which have now received an update), all feel great. They’re effective, fun, and, compared to other models out there, they’re pretty affordable. Also, you can put a penis extender on the end of one of them for some cool gender-feelz. Overall, these things are pretty neat.

#GSpotJournal Reviews Vibrators

I am terrible at holidays. Every year, the day of Halloween, my partner and I find ourselves planning our costumes about two hours before we’re supposed to be wherever we’re supposed to be. Every October 31st, we swear that next year will be the one where we plan our adorable couple-coordinated outfits months in advance. We’ll be so prepared. Just you wait.

Yet every year, we find ourselves at the thrift store at 6 pm wondering why we waited until the last minute again.

If you’re anything like me and in a last minute panic for a thrown-together sex-positive costume, I’ve got you covered. As per usual, I thought of these last year about two days after Halloween, and I’ve been holding onto it ever since (I’m a Capricorn). These little treasures will take all of ten minutes to throw together, and you probably already have everything needed.

DIY Writing

I do not like hard toys in my clam, I do not like them, Sam I Am.

I’m a sensitive peanut. To temperature, tastes, scents, emotions, other people’s emotions, movies, words. I’m a soft little fuzzy bruise-able peach. I learned a while ago that my vulva was sensitive to lubes, getting itchy every time we’d do PIV (thank you Sliquid and unlubed condoms for remedying this). What I didn’t realize until now is that my vagina itself is a sensitive soul, a soul that craves the cushy caress of sweet soft silicone, and cringes at the thought of metal or wood, or jeez even harder silicone. I’m refraining from making “my vagina is a pussy” joke because using “pussy” in that way is nearly always misogynistic, but man is my vagina a soft and gentle creature.

So here’s the truth, folks, I started this VaJournal segment (formally known as #GSpotJournal), because I, Sammi, a sex blogger, hate the Pure Wand.

#GSpotJournal Dildos Reviews

My first threesome wasn’t a disaster, but it definitely wan’t a success.  One night, my partner and I decided we wanted to have a threesome, and that same night, we had one. After just 30 minutes of scuffing our shoes on the beer soaked floors of a frat party, our friend miraculously introduced us to the person we would somehow end up heading home with. Things started getting awkward when I stepped on her shoe, broke it, over-apologized, and offered to carry her home.

Other Personal Writing

Me five years ago would never have imagined that sometime in my life I would pull up to a campground after a six hour drive with a person I had only met once before, scuttle through the pouring rain, and be lectured on how the little bottle that was being presented to me was NOT lube, but hand sanitizer and please do not put it on your genitals, but hey, there I was.

This campground was Abrams Creek Resort and Campground in West Virginia, and the event itself was Sex Geek Summer Camp, a five day retreat for sex educators and professionals to learn business skills. Rose of is the wonderful human without whom I couldn’t have made it through the week, and Cathy Vartuli is the caring soul so concerned about not accidentally sanitizing one’s genitals.

Personal Writing

So you’ve decided you want to have a threesome. You’ve talked with your partner about boundaries, safer sex protocols, wants, and needs. Now you’re staring at your screen trying to figure out how to craft the perfect dating site profile for a couple in search of a fabled unicorn. Perhaps you’ve already been clicking around OkCupid, swiping on Tinder, or perusing My Sex Hookups. Maybe you are the fabled unicorn and you’re sick and tired of rolling your eyes at these less-than-polite couples.

Guides Writing

Fuck leg hair.

Fuck shaved legs.

Fuck painstakingly running to Walmart for batteries, running all over the house to find the length guide, and running your re-purposed pube trimmer all over your stupid shins in the hopes that somewhere in-between shaved and shaggy you’ll finally be happy with the length of your leg lawn.

I’ve spent the past week fussing and stressing over how to groom these two bottom limbs of mine, and the past hour practically crying over them. The only conclusion I’ve come to is that I want to crawl out of my skin, explode, or chop my legs off.

Personal Writing


Hi hey hello there. I’ve got a few recommendations for you.

  1. Put this in your butt.
  2. Put this on your clit.
  3. Put this in your vag.
  4. Put this wherever the damn hell you please.