Category: Personal

These past few weeks I got to play with a Sybian. I had chattered about it to my friends for months, thrilled to use this famous toy. I invited my friends to try it, and fantasized about the ways I could use it: positions, rope, threesome configurations. I had great ideas for the accompanying posts (one of which involved morphsuits and acro yoga), and overall big dreams for this little machine. However, after all the fanciful plans and aspirations, I only got to use it a handful of times.

Life kicks you in the butt sometimes, doesn’t it? In your head I’m probably just some rando internet character who only exists in sexy cyberspace, but I assure you, my friend, I am a real live human being with a real-live life. I am currently teetering on the edge of an undergraduate degree and Finding A Job. I am in the midst of final exams I have no motivation for, with no idea what I will be doing or where I will be come May. Every morning it gets a little harder to get my ass out of bed and move sluggishly through my molasses-saturated world.

Also, if you couldn’t tell from that last sentence, I’m depressed.

Personal Writing

My first threesome wasn’t a disaster, but it definitely wan’t a success.  One night, my partner and I decided we wanted to have a threesome, and that same night, we had one. After just 30 minutes of scuffing our shoes on the beer soaked floors of a frat party, our friend miraculously introduced us to the person we would somehow end up heading home with. Things started getting awkward when I stepped on her shoe, broke it, over-apologized, and offered to carry her home.

Other Personal Writing

Me five years ago would never have imagined that sometime in my life I would pull up to a campground after a six hour drive with a person I had only met once before, scuttle through the pouring rain, and be lectured on how the little bottle that was being presented to me was NOT lube, but hand sanitizer and please do not put it on your genitals, but hey, there I was.

This campground was Abrams Creek Resort and Campground in West Virginia, and the event itself was Sex Geek Summer Camp, a five day retreat for sex educators and professionals to learn business skills. Rose of is the wonderful human without whom I couldn’t have made it through the week, and Cathy Vartuli is the caring soul so concerned about not accidentally sanitizing one’s genitals.

Personal Writing

Fuck leg hair.

Fuck shaved legs.

Fuck painstakingly running to Walmart for batteries, running all over the house to find the length guide, and running your re-purposed pube trimmer all over your stupid shins in the hopes that somewhere in-between shaved and shaggy you’ll finally be happy with the length of your leg lawn.

I’ve spent the past week fussing and stressing over how to groom these two bottom limbs of mine, and the past hour practically crying over them. The only conclusion I’ve come to is that I want to crawl out of my skin, explode, or chop my legs off.

Personal Writing