Squeaky Bedsprings Posts

Adam dildoodle

I have owed Tantus this review for far too long. I have tested this dildo so many times over something like two months, and I still cannot come to a satisfying conclusion. Sometimes this dildo feels delightful, but sometimes it’s curve and girth are just too much for my smaller-sized anatomy. I’m pretty sure the subject of Katy Perry’s song “Hot n’ Cold” was the Tantus Adam O2.

Dildos Reviews

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Sometimes I pee a bit when I jump on a trampoline. Or laugh. Or cough. Or sneeze. Or… you get the idea. The one time I tried kegel weights, they did not want to come out. All the google searches in the world couldn’t find anything to do with “where to put kegel weights in vagina” or “kegel ball stuck behind pubic bone?”, so I figured it was time for some extra help. My partner, Simon, had told me about his physical therapist friend who specialized in pelvic floor health, so I set up an appointment. I was nervous and unsure at first, worrying about a stranger seeing my bits and potential awkwardness, but 1. A physical exam didn’t even happen in the first appointment, and 2. This person looks at vulvas and buttholes every day; mine will be no surprise. After convincing myself of this, I was actually kind of excited about this prospect. I couldn’t wait to learn more about my body.

Other Writing

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I am picky about my condoms, and have every right to be. A condom embraces your genitals, lovingly protecting them from pregnancy, a number of STIs and maybe even a little ball sweat. Condoms and other barriers provide so much more than protection; they provide peace of mind. Companies are always trying to come up with ways to change and improve the classic condom, whether that is with a new material, a new applicator, or a new way to magnificently embarrass your entire brand. Some condom makers are doing awesome things. Glyde Condoms are vegan, fair trade, have different sizes, and use high-quality lube. This is the closest to my ideal condom-seller I’ve seen, but still, one can have dreams: dreams of a shiny, beautiful, perfect condom company.

Other

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Usually my first impression of a toy gives me a pretty good idea about whether I’m going to like it or not. This time however, my first impression was dead wrong. I initially wasn’t thrilled about the Funkit Toys Cashew Nib, but after a few tries, I fell in love. This is an amazing toy from an amazing company.

Butt Stuff Reviews

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I have many aspirations: move to somewhere I love, eventually get a college degree, work in a feminist sex shop for a bit, die happy. You know, the usual. I have life goals, and then I have sex goals. Neither are coming easily at the moment. I live in a rather small house with my parents and siblings. The upstairs bedrooms are all connected, meaning my brother has to walk through my room to get to his own room. Translation: I cannot masturbate nearly as often as I need to, nor can Simon and I fuck when he comes to visit. When we can fuck, it’s a quick, silent session sans toys or roleplay or anything “extra”. It’s good, but I want more. Thanks to my fairly creative, active, and sexually-starved brain, here’s some stuff that is totally going to happen once Simon moves into his new apartment and I come to visit.

Other Writing

New Blogger Worries

Dear Me,

You’ve been blogging for just over two months now: months that have both flown by and dragged on. You have already learned so much about blogging, and even more about sex. You’ve received your first toy for review (thank you Funkit Toys!), made some friends, and virtually interacted with so many cool people. You can now help someone find a dildo shaped like Lebron James, or a unicorn horn, or a light saber. Although you still don’t have a blogging niche, your posts have already begun to change a little and improve. Some days you feel on top of the world, but most others, you feel entirely inadequate, irrelevant, and worthless. This is for you to read on those days. 

Other Writing

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Lelo has made some abhorrent decisions lately surrounding their latest project, Lelo Hex Condoms. Not only did they choose a man known for assault as their spokesperson and stigmatize STIs to sell their product, they defended all these choices and refused to listen to the blogging and sex-ed community. Sarah from Marvelous Darling does a much better job of articulating this than I could, so you should definitely read into the details here. Because of this fiasco, Lelo, and their other brand, Picobong, no longer hold my respect. That being said, their recent actions did not influence this review, they only left me bitter that I still had to actually report about this unfortunate toy. 

Reviews Vibrators

sliquid bottlesSliquid is my favorite brand of lubricant. Loved dearly by sex-toy aficionados like Epiphora and Erika Moen of Oh Joy Sex Toy, Sliquid must be one of the most popular lubricants among bloggers, and it’s easy to see why. Sliquid lubes are comprised of only a few ingredients, and all of them are both vegan and body safe. There are no chemical irritants, parabens (potentially carcinogenic), glycerin, or propylene glycol (both of which can lead to heightened risk of STI transmission). Sliquid lubes are iso-osmotic, meaning they are kind to your skin and tissue cells. They also have a friendly pH relative to the environment of the vagina or rectum, which translates to no burning feeling. If you’d like to learn more about osmolality, pH, and the science of lube, check out Dangerous Lilly’s Big Lube Guide

Reviews

talk after sex

In a good book, the story has an introduction, rising action, climax, falling action, and a conclusion. Sex should be no different! Good sex should have the introduction of consent, the rising action of increased arousal and pleasure, and the climax of, well, climax. The classic film portrayal of two people in bed breathing heavily seems to be decent falling action, but what many people don’t see in their sex lives is a good conclusion. My favorite way to “conclude” sex is with a quality conversation about what just happened. For people who practice BDSM and kink, this can be considered a type of aftercare, but even vanilla-identifying folks can benefit from talking about their just-finished sexcapade. Communication with your sex-buddy in general will improve your romps by leaps and bounds, but the conversation can be even better when what just happened is still fresh in your minds. These tips are mostly tailored to those having recurring sex with someone, whether they are dating, friends with benefits, hooking up, or any other sort of sex-buddy. 

Guides Writing

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In high school, I was the only one on my basketball team who failed to score all season. I played three soccer games in a row where I got hit in the face every single time. When I tried hockey, other people got awards like “Fastest Skater” or “Best Backwards”. I got “Smallest Head”. Sports and I were never compatible. That is, until now. Luckily, you don’t have to be athletic to enjoy the Tantus Sport

Butt Stuff Dildos